Ellyn Davidson’s Weblog

I’m back from my 3-Day journey.  Actually, I’ve been back since Sunday night but up to my ears with no time to post a blog.  When I finally had a free minute this morning, my Internet decided not to work.

First and foremost, this event was truly the experience of a lifetime.  I need to thank all of my teammates for making it even more amazing.  We walked, laughed and kept eachother going for 3 days.  Wherever we went, there was always a member of Ta Ta Breast Cancer nearby.  The spirit and enthusiasm was beyond words.

As I went through the weekend, I realized more and more why I need to walk until there is no longer a reason to walk.  On the last day of the walk, we met Tammy and her husband Wes.  Tammy can walk with crutches but just had knee surgery 2 months ago so Wes was pushing her in a wheelchair.  Some of my teammates gave Wes a break and pushed Tammy and we had a chance to talk.  At 21, Tammy found a lump in her breast.  Doctors told her it was nothing and she went on her way.  At 24, Tammy sneezed and broke her back.  After a few weeks of doctor’s telling her it was a pulled muscle, they finally did an MRI.  The MRI showed tumors up and down her back.  She started chemo when she was already engaged to Wes.  Six months later, they got married and Tammy danced at her wedding completely bald.  3 years later, Tammy has a full head of hair and takes an oral chemo to keep her stable.  It is through the advancement of research and treatments that Tammy is still alive and more importantly enjoying life.

On a similar note, I spoke to a young woman yesterday on the phone who works for the breast cancer 3-day.  She’s 24 and was diagnosed at 21 with breast cancer.  By the time, she was diagnosed it had traveled to her liver.  She has her chemo “cocktail” every 3 weeks to keep her stable.  She said all of this with a smile in her voice, told me that the breast cancer 3-day is so important because it continues to fund research that discovers drugs that will keep her alive.  She also told me that she is doing great.  When 1 drug stops working, they’ll find another.  She is walking in two walks and is the coordinator of another one.  And people say I’m an inspiration.  These two woman are beyond amazing and just gave me more fuel to my already flaming fire!

On Saturday night, I had the pleasure of speaking to the 3,000 plus men and women.  I shared my story and hopefully conveyed my passion for the cause.  We need to be advocates for our health.  We have to know that when it comes to a breast lump, we need to take action even if it seems to be nothing.  I said these words at the Relay for Life and once again at the 3-Day.

Beyond all of this, the event was a ton of fun.  One team member described it as euphoric.  We laughed through 60 miles (and cried a few times too).  We laughed at night and bonded with our teammates.  We formed new friendships and made existing friendships stronger.  We experienced a life-changing event and did it together.  It was a sea of pink and applause everywhere we turned.

At closing ceremonies, I walked in next to Suzanne (an amazing woman who had breast cancer 6 months before me and shared her hats and her wisdom) and Pam (an amazing woman diagnosed 6 months after me whose smile could light up a room).

On another note, in case you missed my 5 seconds of fame on Saturday, the Detroit Free Press included a quote from me.  On Sunday, they ran a story about my friend Pam.

I hope many of you will consider joining me in the 2009 breast cancer 3-day and experience what I had the pleasure of experiencing this past weekend!

We are in serious countdown mode for the big 3-day walk.  Only 6 days away until we start our journey.  $75,000 came and went and we are now quickly approaching $78,000.  It’s a huge number and I am immensely proud of my team’s commitment.  About a month ago, the 3-day opened 09 registration.  I held out as long as I could but I just couldn’t wait any longer.  Ta Ta Breast Cancer is officially up and running for 2009.  Feel free to join me and you could be my second team member. 

Tonight my daughter was checking our 3-day total.  She is so interested in how much we raised and how much it changes everyday.  Tonight she asked if we could do one last fundraiser before the walk but it just seems a little rushed.  Since we couldn’t do the fundraiser, she started digging through her mini ATM (21st century version of a piggy bank).  She pulled out $15 and decided she’d like to finish off my 08 fundraising and be the first to donate to me for 09.  With that, my middle guy ran to his wad of money and pulled out a $20.  He’s a saver and doesn’t like parting with his money but money to fight breast cancer is a totally different story.  He wanted to give me more but I thought $20 was plenty.  As usual, I’m amazed at what my kids have learned over the past year.

Last night, we had our third Southeast Michigan FORCE meeting.  This one was a special viewing of a documentary “In the Family” created by Joanna Rudnick–a woman who tested positive for the BRCA mutation at the age of 27.  The film documents her journey dealing with this life-saving information.   Throughout the film, she visits with several families, all affected by the BRCA mutation.   Joanna did a great job of mixing her personal journey with the journey of others.  She let us into her private life as she spoke with doctors, her boyfriend and others about her heart-wrenching decisions.  

As I watched the film, I felt really sad for her and others who know this information before they are married and have the opportunity to have children.  It’s so much more complicated for them than it was for me.  On the other hand, they are fortunate to be able to prevent cancer with this knowledge.  Had I known earlier, I may have opted for a bilateral mastectomy and skipped the whole cancer deal.  But what would I have done about my ovaries?  Would I risk keeping them to have children?  Would I have had children earlier?  I can’t even begin to contemplate the answers to any of these questions.  And thankfully, I don’t have to think about them.  But I DO.  Because there are other people in my life who may face these decisions. 

I realized this morning, there’s no time for sadness.  Too much work to be done in this fight!  I’m so proud of my 3-day team for the huge efforts that got us to this amazing goal.  Every penny gets us closer to where we need to be in the fight against breast cancer.  But there’s still ovarian cancer and September is ovarian cancer awareness month.  Although it seems they are getting closer, detection is still a problem.  Why?  Because the symptoms of ovarian cancer can be from so many other things.  And what about the unique situations that women with the BRCA mutation face?  Surveillance? Surgeries? We need to continue to support these women while also making sure funding continues to support research to address these cancers and the mutations. 

I urge you to watch “In the Family” on PBS October 1, 2008 at 10:00 PM.  The film also does a great job of showing how FORCE can help women.  Enjoy.

Yesterday I spent awhile on the phone with a woman who had just learned she had the BRCA mutation.  She was an absolute wreck–she’d been through a lot in her life–the death of her mother 8 years ago, and years and years of infertility.  She now has 2 young children thanks to the miracle of fertility options.  She wasn’t prepared for this news and not at all prepared for the journey ahead of her.  But who ever is?  I told her, as I tell most people, that getting through the initial stages and shock is much worse than anything else.  This is true if you are diagnosed with cancer or if you find out you have the BRCA mutation.  It is overwhelming to begin to think about what you need to do.  After my first conversation with her (we talked several times throughout the day), I directed her to the FORCE message boards where she could ask any possible question and probably find someone in her exact same situation.   The knowledge floating through those boards is unbelievable.  The thing that gets me is that Sue Friedman–our executive director responds to so many posts.  You really feel Sue’s love even if you’ve never met her.  She treats people like family and in a sense, we are.  We are bonded by our unique–or maybe not so unique situation (there are over a million of us).  I have fallen in love with this organization and the two key people that keep it running on a national level–they are so dedicated and committed.

My conversation with my new BRCA friend once again inspired me to do more.  I realized how much people need to have the connection that FORCE provides.  After talking with her, I found an easy way to support this organization–by doing things you already do.  That’s right, you can help me raise money without spending a dime more than you were already planning on spending.  When you are shopping online, go through igive.com.  Make sure to designate FORCE:Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, as your cause of choice and anything you purchase at over 719 participating retailers will help us raise money.  I know these sites have been around for awhile so this is nothing new but I just discovered how easy it is to use them.  You can also use their search engine and raise money without spending any money at all.  So sign up today and make your next purchase help FORCE continue to educate, support and advocate for the BRCA community.

Tomorrow, September 7, 2008, will mark my 12th wedding anniversary–12 years since I stood with my husband in front of family and friends and we vowed to stay together through sickness and in health.  On September 7, 2007, our 11th anniversary, we put those statements to the test when I began my journey of surgeries and treatments with a bilateral mastectomy. 

On our wedding day, I spoke about Jon and his enthusiasm, zest for life and consistently optimistic attitude.   It’s what I admired about Jon and what at times was also a little annoying.  I didn’t always want to be cheerful, happy and smiling but that was just Jon.  Now as I look back on that day, I realize that Jon’s attitude towards life has had a big impact on the way I view life.  I’d rather find something to smile about, find the thing that makes me laugh, find that something that makes me happy.  I often joke that it’s the Prozac but I’m certain it takes more than medication to bring out that side of people.  Jon has never been one to sweat the small stuff or the big stuff for that matter.  He’s a hard-worker and an all around super guy.  Together, we laughed at my bald head and scarred body and I took comfort in the fact that my husband loved me anyways.  He sprung into action last year and after each chemo treatment, I could get into bed knowing that Jon would make sure that lunches were made, the fridge was stocked and everyone had what they needed for school.  

He took care of me when I needed someone to take care of me and let me have my space when I needed time to myself.  He’s supported my walking and my extracurricular breast cancer activities.  So here’s to another year together.  Happy Anniversary Jon and many more!

We returned late Saturday Night from a fun vacation in Northern Michigan and Kalamazoo.  We never saw a drop of rain–just pure sunshine for 7 days.  How lucky can we get?  We packed the week with hiking, boat rides, tubing, pony riding through the woods, after dinner walks on the golf course, trips out for ice-cream, the Kalamazoo Air Zoo and more tubing.  The kids couldn’t have been happier. 

Early Sunday morning, I walked with 8 of my teammates to Birmingham and back in our ongoing training.  We spent the rest of the weekend at the pool and enjoying the sunshine. 

Today was the first day of elementary school.  I now have a 3rd grader, a first grader and a terrific two.  It was a half day followed by a smallish celebration at our pool complete with 9 kids, pizza, crazy bread, swimming and make your own sundaes.  At my kid’s request, we got the chocolate that hardens when you put it on your ice-cream.  YUM. 

I’m sitting at my computer listening to 5 kids at my kitchen table–two are 8 and three are 6.  (Only 2 of them belong to me.)  They’re busy making projects to sell.  And no surprise, the money is going to breast cancer. 

I hear my son say, “We need to raise money to help fight breast cancer.  Cuz my mom had to fight breast cancer.” 

One little girl says, ”My mom still needs to raise $300 to make her minimum for the 3-day”.  

My daugher pipes in, “My mom is way above her goal.”

So the group decides all the money will go to the other mom.  Sounds great to me.